Pagan Blog Project: H is for Herne, the Horned God

Calling specific deities in circle is a new thing for me.  I've never been confident about doing this because I'm not even sure if deity is a real thing or not (though I would really like to believe in the gods).

I think I need to take a new approach to this personal dilemma of mine. 

I'm going to fake it until I make it.

It's been 32 years and I have yet to have some kind of 'religious experience.'  Instead of waiting for one to hit me over the head, maybe I need to seek out the gods myself. 

(Also, wow, I'm really 32 already?)

How does all this relate to Herne?  Well, the last time I circled with a small group of people, we called on Herne and Cerridwen.  Since then I have been seeing Herne mentioned in the various books I've been reading.  Maybe this isn't surprising since I've been reading about Wicca specifically, but there you have it.  Herne seems like as good a place to start as any.

I'm currently reading Gardner's The Meaning of Witchcraft.  Gardner describes Herne as being as aspect of the Old God of the Witches, who is a god of both fertility and death:

The duel nature of the Old God will be noticed.  He is the giver of fertility, both of the ground and of humans and animals; but he is also Lord of the Gates of Death.

Apparently you get both for the price of one.  This is comforting to me.  Death is one of those things that causes me anxiety when I'm in bed at night and can't sleep.  The idea of ceasing to exist is so incredibly frightening, I appreciate the concept of renewal after death.

Thou art the Opener of the Doorway of the Womb; and yet, because all things that are born must also die, that they may be renewed, therefore art thou Lord of the Gates of Death.

This is a blog, not an academic paper.  If you wanna know where I'm quoting shit from, then ask.

Pagan Blog Project: G is for Goaticorn

Pagan Blog Project: F is for Fantasy

This blog entry might end up being full of assumptions.  And you know that they say about people who assume?  I’m okay with this though.  I feel like an ass a lot of the time anyway.

I think most pagans fall into one of three categories:

1. Those who believe in all the crazy supernatural fantasy shit (“I’m so powerful, my fingers glow.”  Yes, this was a real thing someone said at one of my Pagan Nights Out).
2. Those who are sane and levelheaded, but have had experiences that make them believe in various supernatural things.
3. Skeptics, such as myself, who just don’t believe in a lot of the woo.

The Fantasy Pagans do more than annoy me.  They piss me off.  Somehow these people seem to have become the face of the greater pagan community.  They come off as being delusional and flaky, and the rest of us get lumped in with them. 

I think I’m a bit of an oddity in the pagan community.  I don’t believe in most woo, and I’m not even sure if I believe in deity.  (I have been dying to have some sort of religious experience that will help me believe though.)  

More and more, I’m coming to believe that magic is a psychological thing.  We can do spells or meditations to help create some sort of internal change.  I do not think we can cast a money spell and win the lottery.  If that were the case, wouldn’t there be a whole lot more rich pagans running around?

I’ve been spending some time lately trying to figure out why it is I’m attracted to paganism.  It’s obviously not the woo, which I think is the case for a lot of people, I.E., the Fantasy Pagans.  I think maybe I find comfort and structure in ritual.  I don’t think I can give any other good reason for my attraction to paganism other than to say it just makes me feel good. 

An Ostara Story

While planning the upcoming Ostara ritual for my open circle, I decided I wanted to tell a story as one of the main parts of the ritual.  

I had come across a myth about Eostre transforming a bird into a rabbit.  The rabbit was able to survive the winter, and found it could still lay eggs.  This was how rabbits and eggs became associated with the spring.

How hard could it possibly be to find this completed story somewhere online?  Turns out it was next to impossible.

So I decided to take this premise and write the story myself.

During ritual, there will be three of us telling the story.  I will be the narrator, and two others will be the goddess Eostre and the bird/rabbit.

Feel free to use the story for your own rituals or circles, or to link back to this page, but I would ask that you not re-post the story elsewhere online.


One early winter morning, the goddess Eostre came upon a small bird on the forest floor. 

The bird was wounded and laying in the snow.  It appeared to be close to death.

Goddess: Little bird, let me help you.

Eostre gently cradled the small bird in her hands, and carried it back to her home.

Eostre’s home was warm and comfortable, and she tried to nurse the small bird back to health.  She gave the bird its own warm bed, and provided it with food.  But nothing she did helped the bird to gain back its strength.  She wondered how the tiny bird could possibly survive the winter months ahead.

Goddess:  Little bird, I am afraid you will die if you return to your home outside.

The Goddess cried.

As Eostre sat crying over the bird, an idea came to her.

Goddess:  I will turn the little bird into a sturdy rabbit, then it shall be able to survive the winter.

Eostre called upon her magic of transformation.  She held the bird in her hands, sent loving energy to it, and willed the bird to change.

When Eostre opened her hands, a small rabbit hopped out of them.

Goddess:  You can now return to your forest home, little rabbit.

Rabbit:  Thank you, Goddess.  You have surely saved my life.

The rabbit left Eostre’s home and hopped back into the forest, where it survived the winter months with little trouble.

During the snowy season, the rabbit thought of ways it could show its gratitude to Eostre for saving its life.  Each day as the rabbit hopped through the forest looking for food, it also kept an eye out for a gift to present to the Goddess, but was never happy with anything it found.

Spring finally came, and the rabbit was happy and comfortable in its home in the forest. 

One morning the rabbit woke up and found that it had laid an egg!

Rabbit:  The Goddess allowed some of my bird spirit to remain!  Perhaps this miraculous egg could be my gift to the Goddess.

The small rabbit decided to decorate the egg before bringing it to Eostre.  It decorated the delicate egg in bright swirling colors.  Finally the rabbit was satisfied with its work, and set off with the egg to Eostre’s home.

Goddess:  Little rabbit!  I am so happy to see you again!

Rabbit:  Goddess, I have a gift for you.  In gratitude for saving my life, please accept this egg.

The rabbit explained to Eostre how it had laid an egg.  Eostre was surprised, though pleased, that her transformation had preserved the bird’s innate spirit, allowing the rabbit to still lay eggs.

Goddess:  This is the most precious gift I have ever received.  Thank you, little rabbit. 

Every spring after this, the rabbit laid eggs, decorated them, and presented them to Eostre.  The Goddess found so much delight in the beautiful eggs that she wished to share their beauty with the rest of the world. 

And so Eostre charged the rabbit with decorating and gifting eggs to children each spring.

Pagan Blog Project: E is for Eclectic Witchcraft

I am an eclectic witch.  I don’t belong to any particular tradition.  This does not mean I am a “fluffy bunny,” or have no structure to what I do, or culturally appropriate traditions I know nothing about.

It does mean that I am self-sufficient, dedicated, and constantly asking questions and looking for good answers.

Let’s be real, eclectic witches don’t have the best reputation.  Many like to quote $ilver RavenWolf, run on “Pagan Standard Time,” and insist that the Universe multiplies everything we do by three. 

I am tired of being lumped in with these people.

I am well educated, prefer to be early, and believe in personal responsibility, not the Universe keeping a scorecard where it doles out points.

My advice for the eclectic witches out there would be:

1. Read a book.  I don’t mean Scott Cunningham.
2. Don’t be a flake.  Be on time and keep your commitments.  I have met pagans who actually argued with me that “Pagan Standard Time” is a real thing.  It is not.  It is an excuse to be an asshole and waste someone else’s time.
3. If you decide to dabble in other culture’s traditions, at least try to be respectful.  If you insist that there is such a thing as a Native American Zodiac, don’t be surprised when people look at you like you’re an idiot.  Again, read a book.  I don’t mean Ted Andrews.
4. Stop insisting that everybody needs to follow the “Rule of Three” or keeping track of Karma points.  Take some time to think through the logic of this.  Does that mean rape victims and starving children are reaping the rewards of past actions?  I doubt any of us would argue this is the case.

Please direct all hate mail to alazywitch@gmail.com.  Thank you and have a nice day.

Pagan Blog Project: D is for Drama

Anyone who has ever been a member of a group has probably experienced some kind of drama.  I think I’ve done a fairly good job at keeping it to a minimum in my open circle, but there have been a few blips on the radar in the past year.

Most recently, I have made the decision to not allow minors to participate any longer.

There were a few teenagers who were somewhat regular attendees of the open circles.  The main reason I felt compelled to let teens participate is because I can sympathize with wanting a group to circle with.  I can only imagine it would be even harder as a teen to find a group.

The maturity level of some (though not all) of the teens left something to be desired.  A lot of this was general chatting with neighbors at inappropriate times.  In hindsight, I should have been more proactive in educating them on circle etiquette. 

There were some new adult attendees that made the decision to no longer participate because they felt the group was “too young” for them.  This was a disappointment to me.  The people I hope to attract the most are adults who are more experienced with witchcraft. 

I felt as thought a choice had to be made...  cater to the teens, or do what it’s necessary to keep the group dynamics functioning smoothly.  I chose to do what was best for not only the circle, but for me as well, and that meant not allowing minors to attend any longer.

Pagan Blog Project: C is for Cleansing Crystals

I learned this basic method of cleaning crystals at Free Spirit Gathering last year.  Except they threw some Ohm-ing in, but I don’t like to Ohm. 

My basic method is to sit or stand comfortably.  I place the crystal on the ground, kind of underneath me.  Then I do a tree-root/grounding meditation.  As I pull up energy from the earth, I pull it through the crystal as well, letting any energy in the crystal flow up and out.  As part of the meditation, the energy you pull up from the earth should at some point make a circle, and flow back into the earth, taking the energy from the crystal with it.

Simple, yeah?